10 Weeks Old

Sweet baby Swiss! You are getting so old! I can't believe you are already 10 weeks! My heart can't handle it! You have made my life so complete! I never knew I was missing you before. I have been so in love with you from the moment you came into this world and I held your sweet little body. At 10 weeks you are sleeping through the night and you go down for all your naps in your own crib with less than 1 minute of crying! I am so impressed with how great of a baby you are! Although you may be a little bit of a drama queen (; You HATE bathtime and lotion and anything that makes you cold. You love love love your mom and I am not just saying that. I can always calm you down when others can't. You NEED me and that makes me so happy! You have the sweetest smile and you flash it whenever mom flirts with you. Your coos and babbles are just about enough to melt my heart and they make it so hard to lay you down at nap time! I miss you when you're gone and always look forward to you waking! You nurse so well and that makes me enjoy that time with you so much more. It's such a special bond we have and I hope we can nurse for at least a year! I love you Gwen Avery and I can't wait to see what the future brings for you!

Gwen's Birth Story

I am so glad that I get to finally type Gwen's birth story - that it finally happened and we finally got to meet our sweet little sister!

I was so so anxious to deliver this sweet girl - who isn't right? But I honestly started feeling depressed. It was hard for me because Nora came 2 weeks early and so I was expecting everything to be the exact same. I expected to lose my mucous plug by the same time if not earlier. When it didn't happen and I wasn't dilating I starting becoming depressed. Not to mention my body was so tired and sick. I hadn't slept well for weeks and had literally thrown up every day from months. Her arrival was much anticipated. 

I had my (38 weeks) weekly appointment scheduled for Wednesday June 25th, by default a week later than my last appointment. Being sneaky I called the doctor's office and moved my appointment to Tuesday June 24th because Dr. Holmes was going to strip my membranes and trust me - every day in your 9th month of pregnancy feels like an eternity. So I went in on the morning of the 24th and I was dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced. I remember just feeling like I was going to cry. I did NOT want to be pregnant anymore. He kindly stripped my membranes. I told him to be aggressive because I had heard that if it doesn't hurt - it's not working. So we left the appointment hopeful that THAT would do the trick!

Stefan, Nora and I grabbed lunch at Chic-Fil-A. Our last official family date with just the three of us. We sadly had to take Stefan back to work and Nora and I went back home. I laid her down for a nap and got some work done. I made dinner and Stefan came home from work just like any other day. I had been feeling crampy but nothing labor-like. I took Nora for a walk and really tried to over-exert myself. After dinner Stefan and I decided to go to the grocery store. I wanted our house to be stocked in case this baby came - I didn't want to worry about buying toilet paper or trash bags for the next few weeks. Not to mention we had NO food in the house. So we went to Wal-Mart. This is when I really started noticing my contractions picking up. They were coming regularly, but I was convinced it was just from being active and that if I sat down they would stop. That grocery trip seemed to last forever as I waddled through the store pausing every couple minutes with contractions. By the time we were done I was so ready to sit down. After getting home and getting the groceries put away I started cleaning the house. I did NOT want to come home to a messy house if we were going to have our baby that night. Stefan kept telling me to sit down but I was afraid if I did the contractions would stop and I wanted them to progress! I decided to take a bath where they seemed to ease up. Poop. But ... When I got out they picked back up again. Stefan was so excited and he kept asking "Should we go??" with a cheesy 3 year old smile on his face. But I didn't want to get excited and then have my hopes shattered. I know what it's like to be sent home from the hospital. Boo. However, the contractions really weren't stopping and were coming at smaller intervals so at 10:30 I finally decided to give it a go. We called our sweetest neighbor to come listen for Nora. We grabbed our bags, the car seat and all systems were GO! My sweet hubby bought me a Pepsi on our way out of town and with my cell phone in hand I timed contractions all the way to Provo. Stefan kept wanting to call people but I wouldn't let him until we were for SURE checked in and staying in the hospital. I just really didn't want to explain the disappointment of NOT being in labor to everyone.

On our way to the hospital I really was not sure that it was labor. In fact, I was more sure that it wasn't labor. I silently prayed (begged and pleaded) that if it wasn't labor, that it would quickly become labor. I wanted to have my baby so so badly. By the time we got there the contractions were becoming more painful, but the pain was nothing like what I experienced when I was in labor with Nora so I still wasn't sure they would be admitting me. Again, more silent prayers. We got upstairs, I put my beautiful gown on and started answering every question in the book. The nurse checked me and I was at a 4. She said "We usually like to have you wait an hour and see if you are progressing before we admit you ... but I will call your Doctor and see if he wants to just admit you because your contractions are definitely consistent." So I crossed my fingers for 15 minutes while she went to call the Doc. She came back with good news and we put on our game faces for delivery! Up next: epidural. Man do I love the man who invented that drug. I do have to say that this epidural wasn't as good as the first. Thank goodness this labor was only about 4 hours. The nurses kept telling me that Gwen would be here by 3 AM and I thought "Well, that would be nice but ... I doubt it." 

My sweet doctor came in to the hospital just to check on me and he ended up staying and chatting with me, Stefan and my mom for about an hour. Just a bunch of pals! He's seriously the best. The nurse had checked me a few times within that hour and I wasn't progressing super fast. My own prediction had been confirmed ... or so I thought. We tried to get some rest. I didn't get any rest. I was feeling a lot of the contractions through the epidural. At about 2:15 the nurse checked me and I was only at a 5. She asked the anesthesiologist to give me another dose of the "juice" since I was so uncomfortable. He did just that and although it made me feel more numb and heavy as a whale in my lower extremities - I could still feel a lot in my belly. She checked me again at 2:35 and ... I was at a 10! Holy cow I had gone 5 cm in 20 minutes. I was almost sad when she told me I was at a 10 because I was so exhausted and I KNEW what was ahead. I was too tired to push and WAY too numb. But I didn't really have a choice. So I saddled up and took some deep breaths. They prepped the area and it was time to start pushing. I had only been pushing for 9 minutes but was so fatigued from lack of sleep and was having a hard time pushing hard. But she was getting so close! So mid-push I asked my Heavenly Father to help me find the strength to give one good final push ...

... The next moments were so precious and ones I will never forget as I heard my sweetie cry her first cries. I broke into tears from pure joy and relief that she was here and healthy. When they handed her to me, my heart melted. I immediately fell in love with that tiny little peanut. She was so small and perfect in every way. She was such a beautiful newborn I just loved her instantly. My whole world changed at 2:58 that morning.

I am so thankful to my Father in Heaven for helping me through that. I couldn't have done it on my own. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be Gwen's Mommy. She immediately gave me something that I didn't know I was missing, or that I needed so badly. But she makes me whole. She makes our family whole. I am the luckiest person on this earth to have 2 beautiful girls and one amazing husband and father to our babies.

Growth and Gratitude

Hi Little Lady!

You are getting big!  ... Well, Mommy is getting big.  You are only 1.5 lbs.  But you are more than a foot long and that's surprising to me!  You are an active little bugger and you like to give me lots of good kicks!  Keep them coming cause I love them!  We are still trying to decide on your name but we've got a pretty good idea of what we will settle on.  Your big sister loves you - she likes to kiss Mommy's belly and point to you.  I can't wait to see you girls play together.  And I can't wait to see Nora give you REAL kisses.  We will be meeting you in just 3 short months! Wow!  I was so excited to decorate your nursery and give you your own room and lots of nice new things - but we just found out that Daddy's EAD was delayed and we now have to stay in Grandma Irene's house for 5 more months ... and we won't have the money we were expecting to get you those nice things.  I'm sorry baby.  Just know that the love we have for you is worth more than anything money could buy.  And we will try hard to get you everything special.

We love you so much little one and cannot wait to see you and meet you.  I can't wait to feel that tangible love for you grow on demand.  I can't wait to hold you in my arms and let my tears of gratitude and joy flow.  I thank the Lord for you daily and I am so thankful you are coming to enhance our family.

Love always,
Mommy

Hi Baby Sister

Baby Sister,

If only we could tell you how much we love you already.  Daddy and I are so lucky to have 2 wonderful girls in our family.  I can't wait for you and your sister to meet.  You girls are going to be the best of friends.  We only had to try for a couple months to get pregnant with you, but we wanted you so much that those few short months felt like an eternity.

I read a great quote today and I can't remember it exactly but it goes something like this:

We loved you before we knew you.
We loved you before we met you.
For we had love for you, when we first had hope of you.

I feel this way about you baby girl.  Love at first sight isn't even accurate because it's more like love at first thought.  When I first thought of you - I knew I loved you.  I thank my Heavenly Father for giving me you.  Healthy and strong you. And I thank you for choosing me as your mother and choosing Daddy as your father.  We are so blessed to have you.

A common piece of advice we seem to be receiving frequently is "two is so much harder than one".  I don't doubt that it's going to be hard.  But I know it's going to be so worth it and so much fun.  Nora and Mommy already have lots of fun - I can't wait to add you to the mix.  We also heard from many people that having Nora would be so hard (we didn't think it was that hard).  I think our attitude has been the biggest factor in that.  We know that raising children is hard and caring for them is hard.  But we do it because we WANT to and because we absolutely LOVE you girls.  That makes it easy to forget the "hard" parts. It's only hard if you make it and focus on it being such.

Little baby girl, we love you to the moon and back ... and to the moon again.  You couldn't even comprehend it and it's never going to stop growing.  But it's important that you know it.  And that you know that I loved you before I even met you.

Keep growing strong and healthy.  Love, Mom